Jacob is 5 months now and is such a cute little boy. I really enjoy him. I love nursing him and making him smile and seeing his face light up when I approach him. It's fun seeing him learn to reach out and take hold of things now. He started sleeping through the night last month. He's a good little sleeper and would probably take longer naps every day if he didn't have to be interrupted so often when we take the other kids to their activities. He really enjoys being around us and doesn't like to be left alone for too long. I've moved his swing to be right by the dining room table.
Nathan will be 3 in June and is an extremely sweet little stinker. He loves to play with Brandon. When they wake up really early or during their "nap" time, when they're supposed to play quietly in their rooms (or sleep, perhaps), it is really hard to keep them apart. Brandon usually removes the gate in Nathan's doorway. Often I just let them play together if they're playing nicely, even though they're supposed to say in their own rooms during those times. It's too much work to keep putting them back in their own rooms! Nathan also really likes to play outside with the neighbor kids (as do the other kids). Below is a picture of Nathan with the three year-old neighbor boy. We don't know the boy's first name, but isn't he so cute?
These are fun neighbors, by the way. They have several children. The girls teach Japanese words to Emily and she teaches them English words, all the kids love to ride bikes and play outside with our kids, and the adults often share treats with us, and we give treats to them as well. It's been a fun way for us to share cultures. The last thing we gave them was chocolate chip cookies, and they brought us Okinawan doughnuts and a baked cheesecake-like dessert, only not as sweet. Very yummy. Maybe we'll make them apple pie or something else that's very American. Any ideas?
Brandon will be 5 in June and goes to preschool three mornings per week. It's a really good preschool (on base) and he has learned a lot there and at home this year. It's amazing me how well he is reading by now! He delights in doing things by himself, and this is no exception. I'm looking forward to Brandon's preschool year coming to an end in a couple weeks so I don't have to take him there and pick him up so often! Preschool is only from 9-11:30, so that's a lot of driving back-and-forth. Jacob gets one or two naps interrupted on those mornings. But it's been worth it. Here's some of Brandon's writing on our white board.
Emily is 7. Her first grade year has been quite different from kindergarten year in many ways--especially socially, how she worries more if people will laugh at her, cares more what people might think of what she's wearing, and has started talking about crushes and boys loving girls, etc. (She doesn't have a crush yet, but a boy in her class reportedly has one on her, and I don't think she's thrilled about it.) Paul and I really enjoy the creative things Emily draws and writes about. She is also crazy about reading. It is a red-letter day for her when I bring home a new batch of books from the library. Emily reads and reads them after school all the way until bedtime, except for when we make her stop and eat and do her homework, bathe, etc. Her favorite subject at school is math because it includes the most new stuff for her. She likes learning. She recently got her own scriptures, which she's excited about. She has started going to the gifted education program at school.
Paul was the Junior Varsity soccer coach this year. Last year was his first experience with soccer as the assistant coach, and this year the coach transferred to another school so Paul got the job. He was nervous before the season started, but I think he really did a great job learning more about soccer and helping the boys learn what to do. They all had a good time. The kids and I took picnic dinners to his games sometimes. That was fun, especially since they were by elementary schools with playgrounds, so I could relax and watch the game while the kids played. They had a ball. (Ha! Ball.) Soccer season ended at the end of April, and Paul is glad to have some more time to do other things.
I am constantly trying to arrange my schedule and fix my priorities so the most important things get done. I struggle between wanting to spend time with the kids and keeping the house semi-orderly, doing the many errands that our household requires, and doing other things I want to do (like writing this). Our house is never a total disaster, but I really am not a perfectionist about the house. I never have been. I let the dishes pile up for a couple days with no guilt and I mop the floor only once--maybe twice--a month, and I rarely dust. So I shouldn't really feel guilty about wanting to clean up, right? It's healthy to remove grime from surfaces and not have papers and toys spread around everywhere. But the reason I'm saying this is that sometimes I do feel guilty when I want to finish doing the dishes and Nathan asks me to read a book, or I want to make dinner and Emily wants me to help her with a craft.
As well as set proper priorities, I need to be able to "run and not be weary." I need to take care of my body so I can work well. Often I am just too tired. If I get enough sleep--which seems to be more hours than most people need--I feel okay, but it's hard for me to be in bed by 9:30 every night like I need to be to feel good. I also struggle to get enough exercise. I know it would help me feel better, mentally and physically. I need to work on finding a good routine that I enjoy so I can stick to it.
I have planted some vegetables in some planters in our back yard. This is my first attempt at a vegetable garden and it's kind of exciting. I've been unusually faithful watering them. (My thumbs have never been any shade of green.) I've had it in mind to start a garden "someday," so it's satisfying to be doing it, even if on a very small scale.
Another thing on my "someday" list has been to bake bread regularly. I did make bread a few months ago and was thrilled with my success (since my previous attempts turned out really dense). Now I'm looking for a good recipe that uses whole wheat that isn't loaded with sugar. If any of you has a good one that doesn't require gluten flour, which I can't find at our commissaries here, please pass it on. Half white/half whole wheat would be fine.
The boys and I have been participating in a music class made up of some friends from our old church branch. We rotate being in charge, and this month is my turn to lead/host. Today was our first day to have it at our house. It went really well. The kids enjoyed having everyone come. I was a little too stressed over getting the house clean, because all those who have hosted since the group began (four months ago) have had immaculate houses! I'm glad I get three more weeks to host it so I can practice not stressing so much about it! We have a half an hour of play time, half an hour of music time (music and songs with movement and using simple rhythm instruments), and then some more play time.
Speaking of relaxing...I have noticed that in my efforts to help my kids get good nutrition, be well-rested, establish good habits, and get enough attention from me, my personality is one to worry about it too much--to feel stressed. I think my general problem is a lack of confidence in my decisions. The same issue arises in deciding whether to let Jacob cry himself to sleep and how long to let him cry. Even deciding when to do the dishes and when put them aside so I can sit and read a book with a kid takes that kind of decision-making. Or making Jacob wait a few minutes to get fed so I can get dinner in the oven (which I just did; I'm feeding him as I type), so we all can eat on time so the kids won't have to be rushed through their baths and bedtime routine and so they can go to bed on time so they won't be too tired tomorrow, which, especially in Brandon's case, results in hyperactivity and a reduced willingness to obey. I know this is all a part of learning how to be a parent and being an agent and a steward for others. It's good for me. It is hard, but I must be growing from it since I'm trying, and things are working out okay. I suppose decisions like this cause me stress because they affect my children so much, and I want them to be happy and healthy and turn out well, yet I also need to do things that I want to do. But, as I get more practice at this, I am also trying to learn to relax about it all. (I've seen my sister, Marcia, be amazingly calm and composed as she manages her kids, which she says came from having lots of kids, rather than being a pre-qualification for having them!). I have made some progress, but as we've added more children to the mix, I need to improve some more. Sometimes I think this mothering thing makes me miserable! But that's just when I'm tired. If I am better rested, it is still hard and there are some unpleasant moments, but I still feel a general satisfaction about my life, a peace that I am doing what I should, and that is worth everything!
On May 5, a Japanese holiday (Children's Day, formerly Boys' Day), we got to ride a river boat down a river that spills out into the ocean. The boat ran along the coastline for a few miles and it was beautiful, and fun to point out familiar sites to the kids from that different perspective. The experience was extremely exciting for them. Brandon noted, "It's my first boat ride!" Emily said her favorite part was tasting the ocean as it splashed a bit on her face. (Paul stayed behind with Jacob, and took our picture.)
Today I got sitters for the boys and attended a Mother's Day "box lunch" social at Emily's classroom. The kids sang songs for us, and Emily looked so sweet and loving looking at me as she sang. We had decorated a box this past week for our lunch. It was good to do that with her. After the social, the mothers were invited to join the kids for recess. Mostly I pushed Emily on the swings--her favorite thing. (I swung for a minute, but it made me feel woozy. Swings are for kids!) Emily was in heaven this entire time. She kept saying during the social and recess how much she loved me. I was SO glad I took that time out for her. She gets put off so often as I try to meet the more demanding needs of her younger brothers.
